Sleep

I love sleep. I spent much of my spring break sleeping. I have been known to sleep for fifteen hours straight and I must admit that sleeping like that is better than "better than sex" cake.

I lose quite a bit of sleep during the semester, especially during midterms and finals, but I only have five weeks left until I can spend almost an entire week sleeping.

I recently learned from Paul Martin's 2002 book, Counting Sheep: The Science and Pleasures of Sleep and Dreams that the average human being spends about one third of his or her life sleeping. He actually focuses his first chapter, "A Third of Life," on an 1801 quote by Charles Darwin's grandfather, Erasmus Darwin.

In 2002, Martin wrote that one third of a human life equals about 25 years! 25 years of sleep sounds absolutely phantasmagorical! Too bad it can't all happen at once!

I wonder if Washington Irving would agree with me? He wrote Rip Van Winkle just 18 years after Erasmus Darwin made the original claim that humans sleep for about a third of their lives.

Cranes, I'm Sorry, but You're Fired

The cranes were late this year. If you live in Kearney, Nebraska, the tardiness of these cranes may have put you in the same awkward situation that I'm in. Next week, I'm supposed to be in class and at crane events at the same time on at least three different days. I can sympathize with the cranes complaints about the long, cold winter; however, my schedule is a nightmare now because they did not make it here on time...and I decided to take 19 credits this semester...and I work part time...and UNK's Language and Literature Conference is this week...

Despite the crazy schedule I've thrown myself into, I can't get away with being a week late, so I would like to fire the cranes. Am I being ridiculous? Absolutely, but why not? Next year, I might attend events for the migration of monarch butterflies, or hitch a ride with scientists to follow the whale migration...actually I will probably just watch programs about these events on PBS. That's right - no cable. When would I have time to watch it?

A Piece of Land

There once was a boy who grew up working, fishing, and hunting on the plains of Nebraska. He loved the open space almost as much as he loved his family. In high school, he talked to his friends about girls, cars, and where he would like to live some day. Some of his friends wanted to move to exotic, faraway lands where they would drive boats to impress scantily clad girls who loved all men equally. Others wanted to drive dog sleds and hunt the wild lands of the far north where the permafrost would make girls want to cuddle in their bear hides. But this boy wanted a piece of land much like the one he grew up on.

After high school, he tried living in the city. It wasn't what he wanted. He tried moving near the great park called Yellowstone. He still had to live in the city. He traveled to Mexico and Alaska, but he only wanted to be at home in Nebraska.

Finally, he met a girl who confused him so much that he couldn't help but love her. They dated for a while, went on a wild road trip, and lived together for three years. He loved her, but something still restricted his happiness: they rented a place in town.

On his twenty-fifth birthday, he visited his parents. His dad knew of a house for sale that was out in the country and right on the river. The boy wanted that house - or at least the land it was on.

He went home that night and begged his girlfriend to go to the bank with him. He was so excited that he paced all over their tiny rented space as he talked. He had to have that house.

If you haven't guessed by now, the boy in this story is my boyfriend, Dustin Selden (iamafiend@hotmail.com). We're not married, we've never had a serious conversation about buying a house before tonight, and I haven't really decided what I think about this whole situation because, through my own series of unfortunate events, I own a house in North Carolina. I am not the type to commit to something as big as buying a house for the sole purpose of making someone happy, but I'm not the type to totally crush the dreams of someone I care about either.

I hope I get some good comments because I haven't figured out how to wrap my head around this one yet.

What time is it?

"Time is running out," "it's time to go," "I don't have time for this," "what a waste of time," "do that on your own time, not mine" ...

I have no idea what time actually is, but I never seem to have enough of it, it never seems to be the right time, and I seem to fall into all of life's stressful times before my time. Time is a word with many definitions, but none of those definitions really say all there is to say about a word like time. Time is a spiral: words on a page turning over and over from cover to cover and back to the cover and it seems to never end. Time is the absolute extent of human life (because the afterlife must be something we can't experience as humans): a timeline with a beginning and an end with many stops in between. Time is so difficult a concept to grasp that I wonder if it's possible to spend my time wisely. Am I wasting my time contemplating time? Do I have time for this? What time is it?

Network

While watching the movie Network, I was really struck by the fact that many people on news shows really are T.V. personalities more than reporters. For example, I think it would be hard for most people to argue if I said Katie Couric is a hard hitting reporter and she plays one on T.V. Even the death of Nebraska's own Bob Geiger created a celebrity-style buzz my senior year of high school. That's right. High school students spent most of the day telling each other how sad it was that the weatherman they used to watch was now dead. I didn't grow up in Nebraska, so I couldn't really relate to the Bob Geiger weatherman-fan club, but this reaction to his death shows how even local news reporters can become news personalities.

While We're on the Subject...

Is it just me, or do all college students, teachers, and other employees count down the year break by break? Last semester, the breaks didn't seem too far apart, but I was dying for Christmas break starting in...October.

I didn't exactly get a break then because I flew to North Carolina to see my family (and go to five different Christmas parties), but I've been looking forward to spring break since I came back from Christmas!

Now I'm starting to feel like this entire academic year has been a headlong rush towards summer because the next break coming up is the most time off I'll get all year. Best of all, I will actually have time to lay around in my pajamas and eat ice cream!

I know that taking eighteen or more credit hours each semester means I have more work than people who only take twelve or fifteen, but it feels like I'm living for my breaks just as much as I'm living for my next paycheck.

Spring Break, Yeah Right

So far, I'm not getting much of a break for "Spring Break." I have been finishing up homework assignments, I've worked every day this weekend, and when I got home from work today, I found that my house had been trashed by little children and my boyfriend. I refuse to clean that. I clean my messes, he can clean his.

I have at least three major homework assignments due next week, so I don't even have the illusion that I can do nothing for the whole break. I really want to do nothing, though.

I also have twenty pages of fiction work due by the end of the term, several books to read, and a twenty to twenty-five page academic paper that I will have to start after this so-called break. Yuck!

I really should just lock myself away for the week with my computer and my coffee pot.

Unfortunately, I will not get much of a break for "Spring Break," but on the up side, this semester will be over in about a month and a half...let the countdown to summer begin!

Be Adventurous. Buy a Car on eBay.

My mom traded my first car, an ’89 Pontiac Grand Am, for a washing machine.

I rolled my 2005 Toyota Celica about a eighteen months after I bought it – luckily, I emerged from that accident with barely a scratch.

I only owned my 2005 Toyota Camry for six months before it was t-boned and totaled by a drunk driver – miraculously, I wasn't hurt that time either.

For about two years now, I have driven lucky number 4 without any major incidents. My 2004 Honda Accord has heated leather seats, sun/moon roof, power locks, an alarm system, power seats, power windows, and all sorts of other features I would not have been able to afford if I hadn't found this jewel on eBay.

I looked through ads in the Grand Island Independent, the Kearney Hub, and test drove several Camrys that were older than my last one, practically falling apart, and cost more than the one I had just lost.
That's when my boyfriend suggested that I look on eBay.

I laughed it off at first, but he went straight to the computer and pulled up the eBay Motors page and started searching for Camrys.

I still thought he was crazy, so I went to the living room to watch T.V. About an hour and a half later he called me back to the computer. He hadn’t found any deals on Camrys, but he had found a tricked out Honda Accord that no one had bid on yet.

One little giggle slipped and in seconds I was rolling around on the floor holding my stomach and laughing. He wasn't impressed.

I felt bad for laughing at him because he thought I could get a really good deal on this car as long as I was logged on to eBay for the last few minutes of the auction to outbid anyone else who wanted it.
He threw a guilt trip at me – I printed out a CARFAX report and was surprised to find that the car sounded like a dream. It had a mile-long list of features, only one previous owner, and if I picked it up myself, I wouldn't have to pay $500.00 to have it delivered from St. Louis, MO.

I had just graduated from Central Community College the day after that drunk driver smashed my Camry, so I was ready to start my summer vacation. The eBay auction for the Accord was closing the next day, so I took the leap. I was starting to get pumped for a road trip.

I got on eBay the next day about an hour before the auction closed and I noticed that there was another bidder. I stayed online checking my numerous email accounts, but I barely raised my eyes from the clock.

Five minutes before the auction closed, I raised my bid. Less than 30 seconds later, the other guy copied. The bidding war went back and forth for four endless minutes, but I finally got smart – the other bidder had upped the bid at five seconds till closing time. I typed in my new bid, but I waited four agonizing seconds and posted my final bid in the last second.

I won the car! Too bad eBay isn’t a game show – I still had to pay for it.

I felt physically ill when I logged into my PayPal account and authorized the removal of thousands of dollars. Fortunately, my insurance money covered the new car and I had been saving for summer vacation all semester…and St. Louis happens to be on my way from Nebraska to my home state, North Carolina.

Thanks to the car I bought on eBay, my boyfriend and planned our first road trip together...two years ago.

UNK World Affairs Conference - Chris Abani

Author Chris Abani repeated the golden rule at his Tuesday morning session: Re-writing is the most important part of writing. However, rather than talking about drafting and re-drafting professional or academic writing, Dr. Abani told us a story.

A deadline was approaching fast and he had run out of things to clean, so he started looking through some boxes of his old material. He came across a 300 page novel that he had written, but didn't consider publishable - the story was stashed in a box for a reason. He took some time to read the novel, found a paragraph that struck him, and wrote an early draft of a successful novella.

I was awed by the fact that he wrote 300 pages, yet only used a paragraph of that piece to create a much shorter, much better story.

Personally, I am in the practice of being very concise in my writing and attempting to avoid mistakes so that I can spend less time editing. My own experience proves that those of us who procrastinate must practice writing habits that most teachers, and most writers, don't recommend.

Although I have always known that creating multiple drafts of a work is a good idea, Dr. Abani introduced the option of creating extensive drafts, cutting and cutting and cutting them down to something useful, and then expanding on the usefulness of a particular section.

Even when I have been required to write drafts for class, my early drafts are usually quite short and I only expand them enough to fit the page requirement. Up to this point, I have been starting at step 2 in Dr. Abani's process, but I have been cutting the material in my head before I give all of my ideas a chance.

I am curious to see what benefit my writing, both creative and academic, may reap if I start with a long, stream-of-consciousness style draft, cut it down to the size that I normally begin with, then build it back up. Dr. Abani made me see that there is a benefit to writing exessive amounts of junk: the more trash you have available to sort through, the more treasures you can find within it.

Pet Haircuts...

I am the proud owner of two cocker spaniels that just turned one year old this week. This picture from January 19th shows their coats in full recovery from their first haircut back in November. Last Wednesday, my vacuum cleaner and I finally got sick of losing the battle against the invasion of cocker spaniel hair, so I took them to the groomer that morning and I didn't pick them up until I had vacuumed all the floors and the couches twice and washed every article of clothing that those hairy little beasts had come in contact with in the few days since the last time that I vacuumed and washed clothes. Poor dogs.

When I went back to the groomer, I picked up two nearly hairless cocker spaniels. Like any good mom, I made them put on embarrassing sweaters to match their embarrassing new hairdos. This picture from March 4th shows my now dejected little dogs. Bogart refuses to even look at me and Daisy is giving me her sad eyes that seem to ask "Why, mommy, why?"

An evil laugh overrode the "Aww!" that was starting to brew up when I took this picture of my pathetic pups. I patted them both on the head and said, "I win!"

Hello Spring!

All the snow has finally melted out of my yard!

The forecast is full of rain, not snow!

I'm enjoying hearing the squish of mud rather than the crunch of snow!

I can see my grass!

I don't have any more icicles dangling from my roof!

My gas bill is about to go down!

The ground is thawing!

The wind doesn't feel like it's eating me alive anymore!

Flowers are coming!

Leaves are coming!

It's almost flip-flop season and I'm five minutes from Old Navy!

Spring break is next week!

Hello Spring!

Buy a Car on eBay - It's an Experience You Won't Forget

My mom traded my first car for a washing machine.

I rolled the second one - it looked like a crushed sardine can, but barely had a scratch.

When I was hit by a drunk driver, my third car got totaled as well - luckily, I wasn't hurt that time either.

I am now on lucky number 4, a 2004 Honda Accord with heated leather seats, sun/moon roof, power locks, an alarm system, power seats, power windows, and all sorts of other features I would not have been able to afford if I hadn't found this particular used car on eBay.

To make a long story somewhat shorter, I was able to buy my second car, a 2005 Toyota Celica, with money that came to me through winning a wrongful death lawsuit. I owned the car for about a year and a half before I stupidly swerved to miss a raccoon on a dirt road.

With my insurance money, I bought a 2005 Toyota Camry, which was smashed only six months after I bought it by a big red truck that had shot-bottles flying out of its windows.

I was seriously considering moving to a city with more public transportation.

However, I soon remembered that I had already been accepted to UNK - I was too lazy to try to transfer again, so I started looking for a new car.


I looked through ads in the Grand Island Independent, the Kearney Hub, and several small town newspapers, but I really wanted another Camry and I couldn't find one that was just right and in my price range.

That's when my boyfriend suggested that I should look on eBay.

I laughed it off at first, but he went straight to the computer and pulled up the eBay Motors page and started searching for Camrys.

I still thought he was crazy, so I sat on the couch and watched T.V. for a while. About an hour and a half later he called me over to the computer. He said that all the Camrys he saw were priced at more than they were worth, but he had found a tricked out Honda Accord that no-one had bid on yet.

One little giggle slipped and in seconds I was rolling around on the floor holding my stomach and laughing. He wasn't impressed.

I felt bad for laughing at him because he thought I could get a really good deal on this car as long as I was logged on to eBay for the last few minutes of the auction to outbid anyone else who wanted the car. He convinced me to look it over, I printed out a Carfax report and the car sounded like a dream - it had a mile-long list of features, only one previous owner, and if I picked it up myself, I wouldn't have to pay $500.00 to have it delivered from St. Louis, MO.

I had just graduated from Central Community College the day after that drunk driver smashed my Camry, so I was ready to start my summer vacation. The eBay auction for the Accord was closing the next day, so I made my opening bid. I was pumped for a road trip.

I got on eBay the next day about an hour before the auction closed and I noticed that there was one other bid. I spent some time checking my various email accounts, but I kept my eye on the clock.

At five minutes till closing time, I raised my bid. Less than 30 seconds later, the other guy raised his. The bidding war went back and forth and back and forth, but I got smart in the last few seconds - the other bidder had upped the bid at five seconds till closing time. I typed in my new bid, but I waited four agonizing seconds and posted my final bid in the last second.

I won the car! Too bad I still had to pay for it.

I felt physically ill when I logged into my Paypal account and authorized the removal of so many thousands of dollars. Fortunately, I had been saving all semester so I could go somewhere for summer vacation and St. Louis happens to be on my way from Nebraska to North Carolina.

Thanks to the car I bought on eBay, my boyfriend and I were about to plan our first road trip together...